For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm always down for nudity.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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