I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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