I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
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These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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