You work out of a Hotel?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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