My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
