That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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