What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
wow bdsm is so cute
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
