i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
