billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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