After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is Oprah even human
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize