I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
