hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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