we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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