There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
