really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
