Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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