shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
