I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
