I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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