I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
