I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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