Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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