My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I didn't shave. On purpose
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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