My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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