why didn't you poke me back
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
