You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
