Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
