Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
