i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
