She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
