:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
