I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
