Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
