He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
