JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
