I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
