AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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