The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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