The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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