For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
