I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
