just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
