3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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