you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
