hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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