I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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