What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
