ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
