He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
