covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
