dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
