You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i don't like sucking hair
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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