I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize