Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
