Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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