There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
