he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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