well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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