Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
