Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
