Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
