I could make wine with my vomit
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
