Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
