I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
