like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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