Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm really into asian looking animals
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
