so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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