this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.