She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
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I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
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We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana