If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.