Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
